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Thoughts on Healing, Integrity, Actions and Words
I've been away from this little 'oasis' for a while. Truth be known, I really like the TruJournal and Token Rock communities... although I do sometimes wish they were a little more integrated into the broader social media stream.

'Private' is good, but private is also a way to 'not be seen.' And not being seen usually results in obscurity or even a slow death, when you're a web community. But I digress. As I often do, because I have a short little span of attention.

We are going to be moving, soon. We purchased a home, and for the first time in our lives, we're heading to a place where we'll know we won't have to move again. Well... at least not until they carry us out in a pine box. Moving, of course, means packing... and going through old stuff, and throwing away a bunch of things we no longer need.

So it is with life, as well. Sometimes we have to take inventory, look at what we have and 'throw away' things we no longer need. Sometimes we have habits to get rid of. Behavior patterns. Addictions. Sometimes we have thoughts and ideas to get rid of, because they no longer serve. Some years ago, when I moved from Texas to Washington state, I had to 'discard' a number of so-called friends... who weren't really friends, at all.

I was looking through a box of old papers, and came across some reminders of a person in my past. I had a business, and I trusted that person-- she was not only a friend, she was my general manager. She always had a lot to say, and was always on about her sense of integrity and her honesty, and how other people always seemed to 'let her down.'

Naturally, I was both hurt and surprised when I slowly came to realize that even while 'broadcasting' her honesty and trustworthiness, she had been gradually embezzling thousands of dollars from the business. I think what bothered me the most was the way her actions simply didn't match her words... in spite of the fact she came across as one of the most sincere and likable people around.

Sadly, things in life are not always as they seem. Even the 'nicest' of people can turn out to be someone completely different from who they appear to be. And we get hurt, because sometimes the people who betray us are also those closest to us.

The sad thing is that she always denied any and all wrongdoing... and in a sense 'rationalized' not HER behavior, but the 'kind of behavior' she'd been engaged in. Although all the indicators pointed directly at her, I was never able to catch her 'in the act.' She left my employment not long after, actually blaming *me* for being upset that money was mysteriously 'missing.'

The lesson I took away is that some people can be SO convincing with their stories that they even convince themselves of the lies they are spreading. Betrayal is painful, and when it happens-- and someone turns out to be 'not as advertised'-- the best we can do to effectuate healing is to simply step away.

Moving is a good time for change, and a good time to discard negative pieces of the past. Remember that, next time you move. A new place can be a wonderful opportunity to make a fresh start. However, in order to not just end up with 'new geography, same old troubles,' you have to be willing to leave some things from the past behind-- permanently.
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